Preservation

I have had such a great time writing back and forth with my sister since she just started learning about email and such that I have to preserve the communication. So I thought I would preserve it here and let you two get a laugh out of it, too.

By the way, where are you two?

Ann emails: I AM FAT.

JPRazza emails back: I am deaf, and I have been fat all my life!

Ann returns: Thank-you for the laugh. It still does not help. How can I get motivated?Corse, if my back was not killing me it might help alittle. I just want to sleep all the time. Like I tke the kids to school in the morning and the only motivation to do that is the thought that I can come home & go right back to bed. And I do. Then the day is gone. I am such a waste of breath.

JPRazza: You say: I am such a waste of breath.

Well, actualy, if you are going home and sleeping you are using less breaths, as we do not breath as deeply as when exerting energy. So, you are not wasting as much breath as fat people who work–like me. LOL And given that I am always moving and exerting energy and still fat, that moving to lose weight thing doesn’t hold with me. 🙂

Seriously, if you sincerely want my help, let’s you and I make a pact together. We can decide what to agree on. It can be a daily thing. Then every two days. For instance, I can say, “today, we must agree to not eat any foods containing high fructose corn syrup.” Or today, you must be awake for 12 hours (well, with you it sounds like we might need to take baby steps with that one, maybe start with today, you stay awake 4 hours. LOL) Seriously, maybe if we do this one day at a time (I hate that cliche, but it worked here) we can get each other motivated.

Okay, first challenge I give you

—tomorrow, we get up and go to work. hahahahahahaha (Ann doesn’t work.) I’m dying over here. Are you laughing!!! Actually, that is something I am having trouble with and Gretel is home sick today, or I would have rosacea all over my face for having to go into work–even with medication.

Okay, for real. This will be like the YaYa Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants only we will be a real sisterhood. We need a name like the YaYa Motivation Sisterhood, or the Yo Fat Mama Sisterhood, or the Wake Up Until You Go Go (or in your case After you Go Go [to take the kids that is]) Sisterhood, or the We Were Three But Only Two Are Fat Sisterhood, I Hate Myself Even if You Don’t Think I’m Fat Sisterhood, or the Raise Your Own Food But Never Eat It So Why Am I So Fat Sisterhood (reference to Sam’s animal comment), or the Put That Down and Don’t Eat It Sisterhood, or the You’ve Got Two Kids Do You Want to Go to Their Weddings Fat Sisterhood, or the Lady Lethargic Sisterhood, or the Get Up and Crochet Sisterhood, or the My Father Controlled Everything But My Weight Sisterhood, or the I Need A Hug Sisterhood, or the Mini Me Sisterhood—-oooohhhhh that was a good one!

Here are the rules (feel free to add any rules). This is just a few I can think of to start off with for now.
1. We take turns making suggestions on what to do to improve ourselves in some way. It can be a suggestion to make ourselves do something to lose weight, look better, make the house better, be healthier or just to feel better about ourselves. For example, I can say, today, we eat no sugar, or I can say, today, anytime you say something negative about yourself, you must say two positive things and write them down to send to me. Or it can be I will stay out of bed today. I will take a walk. I will go to a movie that is funny—whatever.
2. You must agree to do whatever a sister suggests for the amount of time the sister suggests, or you must create a new suggestion and timeline that is agreed upon. FOr example, if you say we must eat pickles all day for two days and only pickles, and pickles make me thow up, I can say no to pickles, but change it to oranges all day. Or I can keep the pickles and say for only one day.
3. All suggestions must be reasonable and doable, even if hard for the sisters. The above example of eating pickles or oranges all day is not a reasonable suggestion.
4. After we accomplish this for a week, we up the stakes by either adding two things or doing it for longer periods of time or both.
5. If you promise a sister, you must really try to do it.
6. You must do this so that you can help your sister get motivated. (My problem is everyone asks for motivational help, but no one wants to actually do anything. If someone would really be my partner, I could get something done. I get so motivated when I have a partner.)
7. We must keep in touch by email to see how each other is doing throughout the day. (Do you have IM-instant messaging? If so, we could put that on–even when I am working.)

Okay, so what do you say?? Are you in, sista? Please don’t make rule number 8: never tell your sister you need motivation. 🙂 I suppose the rules should contain some consequences if you don’t follow the suggestion???? Like I have to buy your dog food, or you have to grade my papers. No, really, something we have to do that doesn’t necessarily cost money, but makes us pay. Like, I get to take something from your house that I want, or you take something from my house that you want. Of course, if we do good the next time, we can earn our item back. So we don’t really send it unless the other one just flat out doesn’t get their act together?????? What do you think? Then we would be the I Want What You Have Sisterhood. This doesn’t have to be the consequence, just something offbeat. Oh, I know, whomever doesn’t do what they have promised has to call Dad and ask for money!!!!!! LOL Oh, I am good!

Ann returns: I have laughed sooooo hard. Thank- you. Youn must be a really good typer to keep up ith your thoughts like that. I am very impressed.
I just wrote Gretel that tomorrow I can set up the DSL with your help I can get the lao top going. Then I can type from bed LOL. I could pretype messages & then e-mail them to you throughout the day so you would think I was awake. I could rollover hit send fall back to sleep. I guess that should be rule #9 No e-mailing unless you are actually awake.
Boy you are asking for such a commitment.Commitment,Motivation strong trigger words. I love the part about having to call dad for money.Too much. I f you tell me not to eat high fuctose all day I am sure to only think of & want High fructose all day even when I normally would not.lol.
Okay, let me think about this one. Can’t I jujst up my medication or something???
Curves has a 12 week program ,meets one day a week for support group.But it is $69.00.Then I would have to try and be out of bed for the meeting. If I liked group meetings I would go to AA meetings. Then I finally would feel better. I do not have the money, and I really do know what I am not supposed to eat. Oh, I am too confused.

Return: I am most impressed that this was sent at 7:42 AM!!!!!!! 🙂

You write: You must be a really good typer to keep up with your thoughts like that. Your saying this makes me laugh hard. Actually, I am either a really fast typer and can keep up with my thoughts OR I am a really slow thinker. LOL

I also liked the upping the dosage. teehee Hey if it works–takes much less effort. Do it! Is there a pill out there that you take that makes you think you are skinny when you are not? I need that pill! You would of thought — me — of all people would have heard about that pill before now!

Pat and I have both done the Curves thing–didn’t work for either of us. Don’t recommend it–especially if you are short of money. 🙁

I see that you didn’t get out of bed this morning as you only sent me one email message. Looks like you got back home at about 7:45, read your email, wrote to me, and went back to sleep. LOL

I don’t like rule number 8, but rule number nine sounds important. Your letter sounds like you are not going to play Let’s Be Better People with me. What’s wrong? You afraid I will win. I can be like Pat. I know how to let other people win. I can promise to only beat you as many times as you ask me to. I guess you really didn’t want to be motivated, rather you just wanted to complain to me. LOL

So I see now that the game you want to play is Competitive Motivation Begging. I guess the game is played like this— you write me and complain about being fat and needing motivation. I write back complaining that I am fatter and deaf. Then, you say you are fat and can never get out of bed. So I say, okay, you win, I will motivate you–and I come up with a plan–now, at this point I am losing the Competivetive Motivation Begging game because I am no longer competing, but serving your motivational needs. Then, in order for you to keep winning (even though I am already losing), you have written back and implied that you are worse off than me (still) because you are on medication and attending AA meetings and not motivated by my great idea that required intense thinking while typing. Now I realize I was playing the I Will Motivate You game, and I was suppose to be playing the Competitive Motivation Begging game, so it is my turn to try to beg for motivation (although I did beg in the last letter saying no one ever remained my partner, but I digress). I need to beg for motivation for the winner’s circle. Yes, Alex, I’ll take begging for motivation, please.

Hmmmmmmm. . . let me see. Now, I have to competively beg you for motivation by beating the fact that you need motivation because you are fat, on medication and attending AA. So, here goes. I need you to motivate me because I am fatter, deaf, unable to come up with a motivation plan my sleeping sister can or is willing to follow, and I have nothing better to do than sit here at 11:40PM writing foolish letters so my non-motivated sister can have a good laugh with the hopes that she will laugh so hard she won’t have to go back to sleep after she returns from having taken her two kids to school.

Now, that was a good one because it satisfies two things. You see, I was competitive in that I have now stated more things wrong with me than you have, making me the new winner of the Competitive Motivation Begging game. Also, if you laugh so hard at what I write that you cannot go back to sleep, then I have succeeded in motivating you! Am I good, or am I good. Let’s see you top that. That is what they call killing two birds with one stone. Or is it I was stoned and killed two birds. Or—-I saw two birds on Stone Street. Or–let it stone me. Or—the bird threw a stone. Or–I stoned two birds. Or——I saw two birds getting stoned. Or-the Rolling Stones were for the birds. Or—I flipped you the bird, and you stoned me. Or——-Stone Soup. Yes, that is the saying of a fat person. Get out of bed now, and we can go eat some stone soup!

This was a message from your friendly Competitive Motivation Begging Opponent. Your opponent will self destruct in 15 minutes. Oh, there is another one. I am self-destructive!!!!! LOLOLOLOL

I’m dying here!! Are you laughing yet? I am. That is kind of pathetic, too. Another reason I am more of a loser. It is one thing for you to laugh at what I write, but quite pathetic to laugh at your own jokes.

I will be at work all day tomorrow. I got a new cell phone today and you can call using my cell phone to reach me. But I figure you won’t be up before 2:30–wait, Edie gets the kids tomorrow after school! You don’t have to get up until 7PM!!!!!!! Guess I will talk to you another day!

Someone has to stop me here!

Love your sister who is currently winning,
nanee nanee booboo,
JPRazza