In Response to Dr. Oz Show on Transgender

While I appreciated the segment on the Dr. Oz show today on transgender transitions, so much was left out.   Dr. Oz did a good job on telling the story of the transgendered person, and even touched on the toll on the family members around that person as they go through the changes.  The reason for the conversation was that Bruce Jenner, as an Olympic and Media star, is in the process of transitioning in the public eye and causing many conversations about the issue.    Dr. Oz chose a family where the father transitioned into a woman, and his spouse stayed with her after the transition.  He even interviewed a daughter who stuck with her through the changes.  It was mentioned that the transition was hard but very few solutions were shared about how they all got through it.

As a spouse who did NOT stay with my trans spouse,  I feel the story of the str8t spouse is still very incomplete.  In addition, what about the struggle of everyone around the trans person as they change gender?  While my ex-spouse transitioned and we are still friends, I did not stay with her.   It was very hard because that person was my best friend, and the person with whom I talked over everything in my life.  But she also makes me see the person who stole my husband, and getting together with her is still hard.  We  talk on a regular basis about the kids,  our lives and even my current life, but it’s hard to hang out.

However, I think the real issue is that gender needs to be researched so that the challenges in the identity issue can be focused on at a younger age before there are people who become collateral damage.  There is no reason that my kids and now my grand kids would have to face this issue if my ex -spouse would have been able to come out of the closet at an earlier age. I never would have married that person as I am straight and my children would not have to say goodbye to their dad, and hello to another mom.  And my grandchildren wouldn’t have to be struggling with the loss of a granddad and having an extra grand mom (Grandmap as my grand-daughter has named her) in the picture. In addition, I had two jobs that were dream jobs for me, ruined because I was in the closet at the time about the issue of my spouse transitioning.  I was focusing on the family challenges rather than on my jobs at the time.   And yes, we may have become stronger and more compassionate people because of it, but think of the angst that would have been saved if the issue were not such a stigma earlier in life!

So please encourage the conversation and research on this topic……